Remedies

I'm quickly learning how unaccustomed I am to Russian weather. I have come down with a real head cold, but luckily Russians have a particular trait that turns each and every one of them into worried mothers at the first sign of sickness. I can't count on my fingers the number of people who have given me advice or brought me some kind of remedy to help me feel better.

Here are the highlights of what I have so far received:

-Boxes and bags of chocolates and sweets. Apparently chocolate is good for a healthy mind. When Elvira surprisingly remarked that I had not devoured the entire box of 30+ chocolates that she had given me only 3 days before, I told her that I did not have a real sweet-tooth. She encouraged me to eat them all (what, right now?!), but then said that my abstinence from the whole box was probably the reason I had such nice teeth. I'm not convinced that I do in fact have such a nice set of pearly-whites, but by Russian standards, I'm a dental phenomenon.

-A very strong liquor from the Chuvash republic (not sure how that's spelled), which is Elvira's homeland. She mixed me a drink of this liquor, which tastes like Jaegermeister or some other aperitif of thick consistency, put in about 3 spoonfuls of homemade honey (also from Elvira), and hot water. It was awful.

-Some type of clear-liquid cough medicine, which Elvira insists needs to be taken four or five times a day and administered as such: one teaspoon of the medicine and about two or three teaspoons of hot water. Mixed with the water, the whole concoction becomes a milky-white color. Again, awful.

-Herbs and other greenery which Elvira insists need to be boiled and then left in water for about a day before the water is drunk. I'm not sure about this. It looks like a bunch of branches and leaves she picked up off the ground...I've decided to leave it alone, because if it gives off any kind of scent or tastes anything like the previous two remedies, I want no part of it.

-Elvira insists that I wrap my head and throat with a scarf while I sleep. I find this unnecessary, since they finally turned on the central heating in the dormitory and now I feel like a pig on a roasting stick every night as I try to fall asleep.

-The aforementioned jar of homemade honey from Elvira. She says that her father is a beekeeper in the Chuvash republic, and she herself donned the beekeeper suit not too long ago to extract this particular batch of honey. Now this one I can deal with. It's delicious. She and Leila recommended that I eat a spoonful every morning when I wake up, and I do...I also put it in my tea and my oatmeal every morning. But just the other day Leila tells me in Russian: "You shouldn't go outside for two hours after eating honey since it weakens your immune system." Great, now she tells me. No wonder I got sick!!!!

-Leila also presented me with a special expensive bottle of mineral water from Germany found in only the most upscale grocery stores in Moscow. She says this is the only water she drinks and that is very good for your health. It tastes like water.

Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate the fact that I have people who are concerned and looking out for me, but when I'm sick I prefer to be left alone so I can rest. So when Elvira came knocking at 9:30pm last night to administer these various remedies and to show me an entire photo album of her family, it was not exactly what I had in mind for a 'healing process'. But, such is the Russian psyche, and I'm learning to live with it.